Don't look now

I'm fading away

Into the gray of my mornings

Or the blues of every night

Is it that my nails

keep breaking

Or maybe the corn

on my second little piggy Things keep popping out

on my face

or

of my life

It seems no matter how

I try I become more difficult

d to hold

I am not an easy woman

to want

They have asked

the psychiatrists psychologists politicians and

social workers

What this decade will be

known for

There is no doubt it is

loneliness

If loneliness were a grape

the wine would be vintage If it were a wood

the furniture would be mahogany

But since it is life it is

Cotton Candy

on a rainy ray

The sweet soft essence

of possibility

Never quite maturing

I have prided myself

On being in the great tradition

    albeit circus

That the show must go on

Though in my community the vernacular is

One Monkey Don't Stop the Show

We all line up

   at some midway point

To thread our way though

   the boredom and futility

Looking for the blue ribbon and gold medal

Mostly these are seen as food labels

We are consumed by people who sing

The same old song STAY:

as sweet as you are

in my corner

Or perhaps just a little bit longer

But whatever you do don't change baby baby don't change

Something needs to change

Everything some say will change

I need change

of pace face attitude and life

Though I long for my loneliness

I know I need something

Or someone

Or . . .

I strangle my words as easily as I do my tears

I stifle my screams as frequently as I flash my smile

it means nothing

I am cotton candy on a rainy day

The unrealized dream of an idea unborn

I share with the painters the desire

To put a three-dimensional picture

On a one-dimensional surface

(Nikki Giovanni)